im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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