it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
