Me. At least after what I've been through.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Randomize
