I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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