Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I understand Curling. That high.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
