I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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