today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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