new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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