Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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