Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
