Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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