I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
