Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
