So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
