I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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