when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
