Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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