So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
