Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
