Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
