He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
