I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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