Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
