Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
