he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ladies don't puke and tell
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
