Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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