Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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