I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
