No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
