apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
