dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
