So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
