I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
