My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
