Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
