is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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