i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
