he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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