Its about making memories worth repressing
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
