: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
