question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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