I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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