thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
