He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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