I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
