Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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