do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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