Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
