i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
