Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
