kristin has been a bad kristin
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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